Maud

General principles

What is going on, anyway?

Why I don't like pets in the first place

Signs and dreams

Places where you can see things

What should I do now?

You enter a place, one evening, a restaurant because you are hungry. Or, in any case, because it is an old habit of yours to wander in places like restaurants, hungry or not, at this time of the day.

You had waited outside for more than half an hour for a so-called "friend" who claims thay punctuality should be a constitutional law. You are bored, everybody is looking at you, pondering wether or not your presence here is linked with downtown's proximity, then decide against it but nevertheless wonder on the fee you would charge for a regular intercourse.

You had time but plenty to observe the place this so-called friend (who still doesn't show up) means to trail you along this evening and, as time goes by, you develop in your mind the resolution to never enter there. In the precise intention to displease him, as a consequence of your knowledge of its fondness for it. You didn't consider any other alternative yet, you just know with certainity now, that your actual body shall not, under any circumstances, clear its doorstep.

After all, you discover that you don't like the place at all and that it has every appearance of as a boring place as you can think of. As a matter of fact, your sense of partiality might have suffered a bit recently, not accustomed as it is to either long or neverending wait. More, you are hungry now.

Then, that friend arrives, not embarassed enough according to your taste and you entertain him with your particular distaste for the restaurant he had choosen to spend the next long hours. You turn your head and, across the street, there it is: that big red 'n' white stripped thing which you can't miss. Whit some undespicable smile, you point it and say "there" and there you both go.

After you are in and have been told that there was a half hour wait for a table, to which you didn't object at all, even if you were tired of wandering and very, very hungry now, you seat at the bar, order a Perrier and look around. You look a bit more closely at the entrance because there is this girl. You look even much more closely as she passes by and go "wow". Her nametag says "Maud".

The next thing you know, you ate there almost every evening for the last two months.

One word can summarize the state of affair with simplicity: nothing.

Not that I didn't succeed in being noticed by her, I even TALKED to her, folks, yeah. But one thing has to be taken into account to understand fully the basics of the situation: I am *shy*. I you read the previous chapter, you already know that it has been (at least) two months since the beginning of this pathetic story. At first, I couldn't even smile to her, totally incapacitated by her presence. I made some progresses but at this pace, I will probably have denture by the time I might have a chance to hold her hand in a movie theatre. In fact, the only remarkable changes that occured during this actual two months period are: a problematic deterioration of my diet, and the increasingly frustrating feeling that it will never lead me anywhere.

I still don't have the answer to primary questions:

• does she find me attractive?
• is she romantic?
• and does she think about me apart from when she catches my stupid and blissful glances?
• at least, does she think of me in terms of sexual commitment?
• or is she happily married with four rug rats and an adoooooorable pet?
• more, does her boyfriend is that kind of aesthetic looking sports dandy?
• in other words, should the gizmo pygmy I am abandons every hope and tells himself to stop the fuckin' CRAP? Yeah, yeah.
• am I a jerk after all?

Pet dogs are the plague of TGI Maud's. To begin with, I don't like them.

Typical pet is:

1. small
2. fuzzy
3. stupid
   and often
4. wet

But the reason why pets deserve a whole chapter here is because Maud loves them. Find a pet at TGI Maud's, you will most certainly (with a 3% error margin of unknown origin) have Maud around. This is barely acceptable if the pet's position is near mine, which is seldom. It is highly annoying in any other case because it keeps Maud from going from place to place in the restaurant and thus, I don't see her at all. She spends HOURS lurking in the pet's area, jumping on any occasion to fondle it.

Pets are a pain. I hate them even more since TGI Maud's.

At TGI Maud's, there is some places where you can look at the entrance, where she is very often, places where you can see her leading people to their tables and places where you don't see shit (metaphorically, because you are very well located near the bathroom).

As I am a smoking person, I usually ask for a table in the smoking section and in fact I have never been in the other one, which nevertheless exists. According to me, the best tables are in the back, close to the kitchen. They are a bit heightened in relation to the main room which allows you to tower above the situation. More, they are not directly in sight of the entrance, which would raise some suspicions related to you continuously staring this way.

Always face the larger aera in order to see her coming from far away.

Well, there has been some signs one could rely on, if only women were not so complicated. This, for example, is some sort of symbol she wore once on tights:

Any suggestion welcome.

Have been taken into account and rejected:

• going straight to her one evening and shout: "Maud! I love you!"
  1. it wouldn't be convenient, there is always a lot of people at the entrance.
  2. it is most likely that the chosen day, prepared like hell, as I would burst into the place, ready to explode from accumulated breaths, she should be sick or something.
  3. I would be totally ridiculous, even more because it wouldn't work at all.

• fill in all the "comments" forms of the TGI Maud's with love letters
  1. who knows who read these forms?