The Schmuck's Chronicles

TGI Maud's

What Can Be Found At TGI Maud's


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Food (or so it seems)

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Man not only hunts for food, one has to drink too

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Usual music and some birthday howls

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Lots of things on the walls you can't buy

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Many things, including food

What you can get at TGI Maud's is mainly "north american food", which is sandwiches from Hamburg, Italian pasta, few trips over the Rio Grande or even what is announced to be typically chinese.

My personnal appetite is "normal" which means that I usually order only one thing and maybe a desert, having for consequence that I get out of TGI Maud's a little bit "heavy". This is the american way of life for you.
You will find above, not the complete menu transcription which would be boring, but a personnal selection : some undocumented items on the menu, few appetizers, the salad and combinations section, two main courses with pasta and a choice of southwestern food far from being exhaustive, the obliged sandwiches and hamburger department, steaks & ribs along with seafood and chicken, and, at last, the deserts.

Undocumented

Chips and Salsa
are not on the menu. They are mexican style chips (quite like tacos, according to their triangular shapes) and salsa sauce which is spiced mix of tomatoes, onions, etc. sauce. Ask for more of the sauce immediatly, they serve it in thimbles.

Appetizers

Chargrilled Chicken Quesadillas
are tortillas stuffed with monterey jack and cheddar cheese, soft chilli and grilled chicken. It is served with cream, guacamole, tomatoes ans salsa sauce. This is small enough (unlike many other things around) to start a meal avoiding to be stuffed right at the beginning.

Loaded Potato Skins
except than you get these with cream and ciboule, it might be quite the normal stuff: potatoe peelings with cheese and few other things in it. You need to be a bit hungry for those, related to the amount of cheese. You can also find them in the well known "Three For All" (undocumented here yet).

Salads and combinations

Blackened Tuna Ceasar Salad
has tuna in it, grilled and ceasar salad. It is always highly seasoned for my taste and very hard to ask the cook something more *plain*. Try to ask, you willl always get the same amount of seasoning. Next time, I will suggest it with no seasoning. Wait and see.

Cobb Salad
is a big salad with plenty of different stuff in it. Very good and comes with reasonable seasoning. It's really big.

Combinations
are available between soups and salads, soups and sandwiches, salads and swandwiches...

Pasta

Alfredo Linguini
they took off the Alfredo Luinguini With Shrimps from the menu, which was great, even if a little greasy. Now what's left is Regular Alfredo Linguini and Blackened Chicken Alfredo Linguini (or Fettucini, who cares). That kind of pasta is closer to mush than to italian pasta "al dente" but you get used to it and there is plenty. Who is this Alfredo anyway?

Southwestern

Fajitas
are tortillas you stuff yourself with salad, avocado, cream, salsa sauce, cheese, grilled onions and chicken and/or beef. It's longer to eat but very good. Tasty.

Chimichanga - Enchiladas
real american food.

Sandwiches

TGI Club Sandwich
is the sandwich you want. I never tried any of the others because they seem to be served with french bread or some kind of similarly exotic food.

Hamburgers

Make your choice:
TGI with cheese and bacon,
Boston with mushrooms, bacon and cheese,
Dallas with onions, cheese and BBQ sauce,
Philly with mushrooms, onions and mozzarella,
New Orleans with mozzarella and cajun sauce,
Cheese whith cheese or even
Plain with nothing more than hamburger meat, a salad leave, 3 (sometimes 2) slices of gherkin, onions rings (number depends on size) and the regular hamburger bread. Served with fries which are good.

Steaks and Ribs

Mushrooms, Steak and Mushrooms
goes with mushroom's (surprised, eh?) fritters. Quite nice but strange. I only took it once.

Aussie's Steak
is a plain steak which is cooked "the australian way" it is said. It seems that Aussie was australian and a good cook. At least for australian standards. When you're not too hungry and fed up with hamburgers.

Baby Ribs
are not "baby" at all, except if we are talking about dinosaurs. It's in fact your usual BBQ Spare Ribs of which you have a picture on the paper napkin. This picture is at about 50% of the original size. The color is approximatly the same.

Seafood

Shrimps
I like shrimps.

Chicken

Herb Grilled Chicken
is grilled chicken with herbs, vegetables and rice. Tasty and plain. Normal size.

Blackened Cajun Chicken Dinner
might be the same chicken, three weeks later (I have no proof of this!), and therefore comes with lots of spice, spiced red beans as well as plain corn and rice. The spice range vary from moderatly hot to super hot, maybe depending on the cook's mood or the chicken maturity. Be warned, but it's very good.

Deserts

Classic Chocolate Cake
is what you can expect of a chocolate cake. If you like chocolate cake, you will probably like this one.

Malted Chocolate Turtle
is the same chocolate cake we talked about but hidden under some vanilla ice cream, lots of caramel and a bit of hot chocolate sauce. This can stuff you for good if you didn't order a first course and a hamburger. Though it isn't that big after all.





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Man not only hunts for food, one has to drink too*

I will not approach the "Drinks" question because once and for all, the national (well, at least regional) drink at TGI Maud's is french Perrier.





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Usual music and some birthday howls

If you need at your birthday to have half a dozen folks dressed in red and white stripped sweatshirts, with funny hats on their heads singing "Happy Birthday To You" (the Steve Wonder version) and "Someone Here Is Getting Old", you just found the right place. I personnaly think it is a very comical sight, unless I should become the target of such thoughtfulness.

As for music, here is your typical evening tape's summary:

"Don't say the word"Swing out Sisters
"This is your life"Shakespeare Sisters
"Wake me up before
you gogo!"
Wham!
"Comon Eileen"Dixies Midnight Runners
"Touch me"Cathy Dennis
"Let's talk about sex"Salt 'n Peppa
"Can you feel it?"The Jacksons Five
"When doves cry"Prince
"Red red wine"UB40
"Do the Time Warp step"adapted from The Rocky Horror Picture Show by ?
"Girls just wanna have fun"Cindy Lauper
"Mr. Vain"Culture Beat
"???"Erasure
"Uptown Girl"Billy Joel
"Breakaway"??? (Tracy Ullman sung it too)
"Sledgehammer"Peter Gabriel
"Blueberry Hill"Fats Domino
"I wanna dance with somebody"Whitney Houston





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Lots of things on the walls you can't buy

It seems to be a tradition for american restaurants to pin on the walls everything you would normally trash after a two days' eccentricity effect.

A big Coca Cola thing round and red as you might wish it, a chariot wheel, a shovel, an begin-of-the-century insecticide spray, a big spirit lamp, a toy truck, cans of various origins, a balalaïka, a hunting horn, a tuba and a snorkel, an ammunition shell for at least a 75mm cannon, diplomas written too small or too far from me to allow me to read them, notices for a cow selling and the Hartford Fire Insurance Co, a picture of a baby girl dressed as cupidon, a tennis racket which I wouldn't trust to play with, two pipes in a frame, an accordion, a clock with some decorative ad on it, half of an umbrella, a beauty shop sign and one for Regalos Cigars, a family group photo in sepia, some young guy in sepia too, a square mirror, a "pig" sign, a Kodak sign, a Buschs sign, a saddle, a purple flag with "Holy Cross" printed in white, "we sell Graphinoil, the quality lubricant", a golden A letter, a gold and red Q letter, some strategically dispatched television sets tuned on Eurosport and MTV, a big teddy and dusty bear, and empty bottle of champagne, a big and strange ostrich which seems it could fell if you push it hard enough, a restroom hand-holding-an-ace-of-heart shaped sign, many buckets in a large range of sizes and colors, an Atlantic White Flash poster, a watering can, an empty golf bag, a teeshirt with names on it -- or dates or places or a mix of everything or whatever -- a glass store sign, a trumpet, a big red key, a saw with a wooden handle, antother square mirror but smaller, a wood sled, a short golden horse with holes in the shoulders and neck, an empty oval frame, some heater, two pictures of what looks like teams of something, one of them panoramic, and Esso ol' style sign, a little tin locomotive, a strange music thing or so it seems, ...




* Woody Allen (from memory and re-translated backwards)

& o I warned you but you still can get back to the TGI Maud's Home Page. 
All this stuff doesn't seem to lead us anywhere. I feel like eating something.
May 29th, 1995